The Bertie Project by Smith Alexander McCall
Author:Smith, Alexander McCall [Smith, Alexander McCall]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humour, Contemporary, Adult, Mystery
ISBN: 9781846973598
Amazon: 1846973597
Goodreads: 30624772
Publisher: Polygon An Imprint of Birlinn Limited
Published: 2016-01-01T08:00:00+00:00
Youâve Got Great Contours
Bemused but not unwilling, Bruce accompanied Clare to a shop on Princes Street that she said was just the place âfor what we need.â
âYou said it was for what I need,â Bruce pointed out.
âSame thing, Bruce,â said Clare. âYou, meâweâre an item, arenât we? What you wear reflects on me.â
âAnd vice versa?â asked Bruce.
Clare was thoughtful. âPossibly. Not that I like being arm candy, if you donât mind.â
âAnd yetâ¦â He left his reservation unfinished. There was something about Clare that discouraged argument, and yet this did not really diminish his enthusiasm for her. She wasâ¦what was the word? Spirited? Yes, that was it. It was something to do with her being Australian, he thought. Scottish girls were all very well, but they could be a bit given to looking on the negative side. It was something to do with cultural expectations of being miserable. Australians had that optimistic, can-do approach that he found so refreshing.
He would not have agreed to being led off to Princes Street by a Scottish girl; until the advent of Clare, he would never have so much as considered letting somebody choose his jeans. But now, like some neutered suburban male, dragged off by a domineering wife to buy a cardigan, Bruce agreed to follow Clare into the retail no-manâs-land of Princes Streetâthe home of bland chain stores, places of mirrors and glass and materialism.
She seemed to know where she was going and they stopped outside a shop that announced itself simply as M*N.
âWhat does the * stand for?â asked Bruce.
Clare looked up at the sign. âOh, I donât think that means anything,â she said. âItâs just a cool name for a shop.â
Bruce was not convinced. âI think it might be E,â he said. âAs in MEN.â
Clare was unconvinced. âOh, I donât think so,â she said. âYou donât want to read too much into these things.â
âTheyâve got a good selection of jeans in this place,â she said, as they stood at the entrance to a shop at the west end of the street.
They went inside. Clare seemed to know her way about, and led Bruce to a rack on which pairs of blue denim jeans were displayed. Tight fit, proclaimed a sign.
âIntimate question, Bruce,â said Clare. âWhatâs your waist measurement?â
Bruce gave her the figure. âIâm 34 inches,â he said.
âRight,â said Clare. â32.â
Bruce corrected her. âNo, 34.â
Clare shook her head. âWeâre not talking about comfort here, Bruce,â she said. âAnd denim gives. You need to get a slightly smaller size so that the material can mould to your shape.â
âI thought denim shrank,â said Bruce.
âIt both shrinks and gives,â said Clare. She selected a pair of jeans and handed them to him. âWeâll try these to start.â
Clare led Bruce to a fitting room.
âGive them to me,â he said. âIâll go and try them on.â
âOh, weâre all coy all of a sudden, are we?â said Clare. âIâll help you.â
Bruce looked embarrassed. âI can do it myself.â
Clare shook her head. âYouâre going to need help,â she said.
He did not argue, but followed her meekly into the cubicle.
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